Piss off, Santa Claus – I’m writing this Christmas!


November 26, 2010 by jessperriam

Handmade Albanian Christmas in July 2010

So Christmas is nearly upon us.

The shopping centres are playing their tinny version of The Little Drummer Boy, their overly sexualised version of Santa Baby and their exuberantly festive version of Feliz Navidad. It must be true.

Somehow that means there’s some kind of switch that should flick me into retail overload, buying copious presents for friends, family and wellwishers.

But that switch is broken, I feel no real need to put money through cash registers, much to the dismay of the retail sector.

Instead I’m going to write a letter a day to a person of my choosing, each day of the month.

It will be a long letter, it will be riveting and captivating. It will be a moment or five from me to you. You’ll keep it and remember it for longer than it will take for you to say, “What did you get me last Christmas? Oh hang on, you didn’t.”

Slight problem, there are more days in December than there are addresses in my notebook.

If you received a postcard from me from an exotic location such as the Faroe Islands, Albania or… somewhere else, never fear – I have your address.

If you have never received anything from me in the post ever, but would like to, the comment box is below, your address won’t be posted and you’ll be pleased to know my handwriting is legible.

I would really like to write a letter to someone I don’t know so well. The criteria for being ‘someone Jess doesn’t know so well’ is that you must never have shared a caffeinated and/or alcoholic beverage with me. I’m not sure what I’ll write in that letter, I’ll make it up on the day.

So please, help me say no to consumer Christmas and yes to mildly legible handwritten Christmas letters of goodwill!

Postscript: If you don’t trust my (moderated) comments box to leave your address in, please email me.


14 thoughts on “Piss off, Santa Claus – I’m writing this Christmas!

  1. Katia says:

    What a fabulous christmas idea 🙂
    I’d LOVE to receive one, if you have space in your list! 🙂 Because haven’t shared a caffeinated drink OR an alcoholic beverage, unless you count doing it over the internet on a Saturday in the chat 😉

  2. Elisabeth Ford says:

    Would love to receive a letter from you Jess, this will be my first xmas away from home and family for a very long time, no-one to buy presents for this year, I will just be sending xmas cards to family and friends (as usual). I think xmas eve will feel a bit strange for all the Perriam clan this year.

  3. Hilary says:

    Jess, we’ve shared plenty of caffeinated beverages over the years but I can’t recall ever tasting alcohol in your presence. This is a terrible oversight and we must do something to remedy this dreadful situation. In the mean time, I’d really like to get a letter from you, if you’d like to write to me. Do you have my address? And where do I send a Christmas card (or postcard, if I’m not organised before I go) to you this year?

    • jessperriam says:

      I’m not sure I have your address… hmmm I can drive to your place, but I can’t remember the address to save myself. Best send it to me. Oh and my address?
      The usual…

  4. Carol Perriam says:

    Yes please that will be all I need then I can keep it with my french one that moves me to tears every time I read it.

  5. Mandy Pink says:

    I think this is a wonderful idea. Not only is it not commercial but it has meaning.

  6. jessperriam says:

    Thanks. I fear I may have a combination of RSI, carpal tunnel syndrome or just plain old dead hand by the end of December!

  7. […] be pleased to know I spent this morning preparing for Operation POS (Piss Off, Santa for those in the […]

  8. Phil Kan says:

    Go on then… fancy sending one to Queensland?

  9. […] Seven days, seven letters. […]

  10. […] main lesson I learnt from the Christmas letter challenge was that words can be powerful. The reactions of recipients included tears, grins, pauses for […]

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