Tweed taming and Sean stalking

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June 18, 2010 by jessperriam

My name is Jess Perriam.

And I am a fool for leaving Edinburgh so soon.

If I could I would give myself detention and make myself write 100 times over: “I must not leave Edinburgh until the adventure is truly over.”

I called JonJo today to see how the last few days have gone.

I stumbled out of bed on Wednesday morning to greet Jon Jo reading the newspaper I’d bought just two hours ago when I couldn’t sleep. There were a full eight or so pages describing the Bloody Sunday decision. Martyn stumbled in, the other two were still down for the count after the epic night before.

We discussed what was going on at the Edinburgh Film Festival because it was the official opening that night. And Jon Jo found out from one of his musician friends the night before that Sean Connery was in town.

So Jon Jo made it his mission to find hang out with Sean Connery at the film festival opening.

But not before getting Martyn to tame the tweed. No mean feat for a shy budding film director from Essex.

“But he’ll come over if we’re wearing a kilt,” Jon Jo teased.

My expert fashion advice was also required for the transformation from Englishman to Highlander. So we entered JonJo’s ground floor lair – a mishmash of office, laundry and Scotsman’s wardrobe.

Jon Jo rifled through his clothes to find different parts of the get up. Once he got his own outfit on he showed Martyn how to put it on, right down to the trick where you kneel on the ground to make sure the kilt’s sitting right.

Martyn looked nervous as he had a go at getting the costume on himself. But he got there in the end.

“Ok Martyn, so we’re going to go to the theatre and stand on the red carpet with a bottle of whiskey and yell at Sean, then when we’ve got his attention I’ll point to my friend on the bagpipes to play and Sean’s sure to come over to us.”

And do you know what the crazy thing was?

I had no doubt that his plan was going to work.

Jon Jo and Martyn, taming the tweed. Edinburgh June 2010

JonJo, Martyn and I spent the day wandering around Edinburgh before I had to hop on the plane back to London.

We went to the Edinburgh College of Art where I bought a drawing and Martyn bought a fox. He was slowly getting into the tweed taming.

We sat down at a pub and had a very, very late breakfast including Guinness.

“You can’t go now Jessie,” Jon Jo complained. “Do you mind if I call you Jessie?”

“Only because you’re Scottish, Jon Jo. Only because you’re Scottish.”

“You’ll be back, won’t you?”

“I want to come back, I’ve had so much fun!”

But first I had go back to London, do more research for the book and carry on with the journey.

I called Jon Jo today, wanting to know what on earth happening that night.

“Jessie! We met Sean!”

“Oh wow! *expletive*! I knew I shouldn’t have left Edinburgh!”

“Yeah, we didn’t get there until 7pm but my friend who’s a millionaire had some spare tickets to the party afterwards. So me and Tricky Ricky and Martyn and Paul went to this party. We met Sean and Patrick Stewart and the director of The Illusionist. There were free drinks all night on five levels of bars.”

See, I didn’t underestimate the power of Jon Jo and the tweed.

“We didn’t get back to the Art House until four and Martyn vomited everywhere over the Italian guy.”

Apparently Jon Jo’s planning on going to the another party with Sean Connery before the film festival’s out.

And I’ve got to start on my self-imposed detention and write those lines.

I must not leave Edinburgh until the adventure’s over….


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